The Dance At Our Grand Daughter’s Wedding
Lyrical Hybrid Form by Sam Kaspar
The Dance At Our Grand Daughter’s Wedding
Lyrical Hybrid Form by Sam Kaspar
From the Archive of Saint Augustine's Magazine
Volume 2, No. 1 (2023).
It’s a good day
I haven’t forgotten yet
Who my wife is, arms around each body’s curve
respectfully, formal, not to embarrass our grand daughter
with a dance floor kiss amongst the old folks
at her wedding, at her behest, we’re in the first dance
after the newlyweds get things started
It’s a good day, I look into her eyes,
she’s not familiar but she smiles, is it my wife or mother
or is it the daddy-daughter dance, or the grand daughter bride
hard to tell her age
or mine
or the time
~ watch ~
they switch effortlessly like a waltz, a square dance,
around the circus dance hall, people stare:
time lapse,
~ trade ~
Have we eaten yet?
How did I get in this suit?
Am I the groom or parent here
there? what year is it, what vintage suits… my needs:
I am younger, feel the hot blood in my limbs
My pain is gone but rage and bad decisions
I didn’t think it was a bad day, feels woozy coming down
Straight from a bender
Who’s that handsome disheveled – Was it me? it gets foggy
Help me remember, dance close and whisper
in my ear as if it’s a sweet nothing
glance admiration so that people
don’t realize
you’re guiding me today
on the stone sober basics
not dance steps with my two left feet
~ slow it ~
but the orientation
to person, place, and time, the big 3 when my doctor subtly inquires
Doctor? Here? I don’t need to see one, why do you keep asking, or did you?
I haven’t drank, leave me alone woman
What’s Old Timer’s disease, that’s not me – leave me
It’s a bad day
I’m drunk and young at the wedding, a fight breaks out
I think it was me
I tried to forget…
Or when I drove and wouldn’t surrender the keys
How you cowered in the passenger side as cops asked
Whether you were afraid of my driving or of me per se
Person of interest, maybe I wasn’t so interesting
I think I did a lot of high minded things that let her down
I bring her tears and shame, maybe it was just
overwhelming emotion from the matrimony
does she know I flirted with the brides maids?
yes, women discuss everything, why
do I remember that and nothing else
how big her heart is still, to be with me
does she know about that time I was away
at the service
or was it a funeral
or did that come later, it’s a cycle so why
does it matter if I keep them straight, the names will change
in a weak
moment of the mind
but she looks at me like I’m a good man, did she forget or
did it come out in the balance, more good than bad
or maybe she forgot…
Help me forget
So that this one embrace, At this one moment in time
we can play the role
And people can look
on and smile
at how cute the grandparents are
nodding approval
I deserve that respect
I’ll say Grace and boast how we’ve been married 90 years
And you will, as always, hand gently on my forearm
nudge me into jovial correction:
Dear it’s only been 60, I know you think it’s an
Eternity in wedded bliss
Take your pills and behave
The family’s watching. It will make the bride happy.
Poem published in The Fool's World precursor
Saint Augustine's Magazine Vol. 2, No. 1 (2023).